My best friend turned 18 a month before I did and in our little town in Indiana, the titty bar is all we grow up wishing to finally go into. So when he turned 18, I wasn’t waiting for my birthday to come, I was ready to make this happen!

I had a hook-up in my school who knew someone who could make fake ID’s and in Indiana, they weren’t anything elaborate at the time so a fake wasn’t hard to make. However, I should have known something was up when my hook-up asked me for a passport photo and $200. The photo, okay, but the $200 was a lot of money in the mid-90′s for an ID that looked like it was made in a 4th Grade arts & crafts class. But anyways, I got it done, paid my money, and was ready to go see some titties with my boys.

When we got to the strip club, one of my friends’ older brother advised the “smooth” thing to do was to fold a $20 bill and put it behind the ID when I present it to the bouncer. So when we got to the front door, I gave the ID and the folded bill to the bouncer and he immediately pocketed the $20 and stared at me for about a good 2 minutes.

He then radio’d to an inside bouncer who happened to be an off duty cop. The cop called the police on duty and in 5 minutes a patrol car pulled up, bent me over the car, and slapped the cuffs on me. I was so scared I wet my pants. My boys all laughed at me and continued to go in the club and the police called my parents to pick me up from the station.

I was only a month away from being legal but instead I was sitting in a holding cell with REAL criminals and my little ass with wet, pee smelling pants. My parents grounded me until I graduated High School. I haven’t gone to a strip club since.